November 28, 2023

What If No One Likes My Photos? | Your Photographer Mom: 007

Morning, Photography Fam!

Today, we are going to get into a huge topic near and dear to my heart that we’ll probably re-visit a million times on this podcast. It’s a mixture of self doubt, self acceptance, and self expression. I’ll also be sharing a ton about my own photography journey because, honestly, this topic is the kind of topic that just takes a little bit of guts spilling And the topic?

What If No One Likes My Photos?

Ah! Even a million years into shooting, the question can feel like a total gut punch! Don’t judge me if this podcast has me stuttering or backtracking a little. It’s not because I’m nervous, it’s because this subject gives me all the feels!

I Still Remember The First Time I Buckled In To Learn Photography.

The year was 2011 and I sat in the middle of our bed in the middle of our living room with a nursing baby in my lap and a laptop propped up on a breakfast tray. We’d given our bedroom to our super happy, super chunky little baby a, turning our tiny one bedroom into a makeshift studio situation, and I was in the weirdest phase because I was both totally obsessed with literally everything in my life and also really struggling with postpartum depression. In 2011, postpartum depression wasn’t discussed in any of my circles so I felt really confused and lost which felt really contradictory to how happy and excited about life I felt. It was a lot of emotion for one new mom to handle but, mostly, I just felt really confused that I could be so happy and exhausted at the same time.

That nursing baby? I was totally obsessed with him. From the curve of the way his mouth smiled when he did big belly laughs, to dressing him up in little old man sweater vests, to just strolling him around and kissing his cheeks off and holding him nonstop for every minute of his life. I loved being a new mom with my entire soul and heart down to the tip of my toes and, for my entire life, I’d planned to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I were locking down our history degrees and, at the time, we had no idea what life had in store for us. We didn’t even know where we’d be living or what kind of jobs were on the horizon for us. I did know, though, that we were pretty freaking broke so I suggested to my husband that we sell my camera.

Andrew was not into that idea. He understood where I was coming from, told me that he disagreed and reminded me that I loved photography. I still vividly remember him, halfway standing and halfway arched over the bed as I’d wedged myself into a corner defiantly crossing my arms. Andrew – the same man who, earlier this week, wrapped our fluffiest pup into a hot pink blanket and sweet talked her as he pulled a tick from he ear – knew that I was in a rough spot emotionally, knew that I loved photography and knew that I meant it when I said I was going to sell my gear. In that moment, he came up with an idea: He asked me to shoot ten portrait sessions of people I didn’t know (this part was key!) and, if I didn’t like photographing them, he said he would sell the camera for me.

pink tulle dress for senior photos

Not Going To Lie. I Wasn’t Super Into This Idea.

At the time, I’d only photographed people I knew and friends of friends. So, basically people that I could theoretically meet at a party or activity. I’d never, like, been cold contacted or photographed anyone that there was zero connection to. I became extremely introverted after we had our first babe and photographing strangers was terrifying. But! Despite this, I agreed, we purchased a website, and I wrote a post on our family blog offering extremely cheap sessions. Like, $50 or $25 or possibly even free. I can’t really remember at this point, lol.

Everyone’s photography story is different but, to me, this is where mine really starts. Stuck in the middle of a depressive haze, I learned through those sessions that I loved photographing happy photos of happy people and, once I started, I couldn’t stop. Sound cheesy? To a first time mom in her early twenties, it absolutely was not! Happy photographs felt like a life line for me, not just because they were fun to take but because they gave my mind something else to think about and they gave me something to work towards. And to this day? In 2023, I am still happier when I’m creating photos. Like, if I go without shooting for a couple of weeks and get a little snappy, Andrew will, to this very day, gently say, “Have you thought about doing a shoot just for you?” and, as much as it irks me that he can read me so well – where is the mystery in a fifteen year relationship?! – he’s totally right. I love photography. I love shooting, I love creating, I love planning, and I even love the editing, even when I say I hate it, lol.

I’m Getting Ahead of Myself! Roll Back to 2011!

That summer, we moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas and, almost immediately, I filed for a business license wearing black and pink Converse covered in Sharpie. When I walked out of the office and into the sun, my husband waved at me across the street as he rolled our huge and happy baby down the street in an umbrella stroller. And that was that! I’d decided: I was going to be a photographer.

That baby in the stroller? I’m just as obsessed with him now as I was then – maybe even more than I was before! – and I have no idea how he went from a silly and funny baby to a snarky and funny teenager who is constantly drumming on everything and lives for The Ramones and The Who but I will say this! Ugh! Being a mom is the freaking best. One day they’re flailing all over you as you try to learn what “aperture” is and, the next, that flailing baby is taller than you and you’re sitting in a home office that just, like, totally spills over with photography related everything as you record a podcast about something so close to every photographer’s soul:

What If No One Likes My Photos?

In 2011, I had no idea that I was carving out a career that would become a huge part of my life and my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved photography. But, when I started, my photography hadn’t become, like, totally entwined with my heart yet. When you’re learning something, you’re learning. And you’re inevitably going to fail or drop a ball at some point. If you don’t fail, the fear of failure can honestly be as crippling as actually failing and, eventually, when your photographs start to feel like you, you’re going to ask yourself: What if no one likes my photos?

creative and whimsical green editorial photos with disco ball

Notice How I’ve Said That, Like, Three Times Already?

There’s a reason! It’s a fear! And it’s also a reality.

And today? I’m here to tell you: Not everyone has to like your photographs. In fact, very few people have to like your photographs. So! Before we get really into this, take a deep breath and say it out loud: Not everyone has to like my photographs. In fact, I’d argue that, at a base level, only one person has to love your photographs? And that person? It’s you!

Have you ever heard the idiom that you could be the best apple of the bunch but someone won’t like apples? This is absolutely true but it’s especially true when it comes to art. As an artist, I think it’s so important to put yourself into everything you do. Now, don’t read too much into that. You can’t always put yourself 100% into every decision you make. That’s a recipe for burnout! But, when you’re creating client photographs, it’s important to put yourself into your photographs and your clients into the photographs, too. And as you create a larger, more cohesive body of work? People will be drawn to your work or not drawn to it.

I’m Going To Go Off Topic For A Minute!

In 2022, I decided to add photographer tee shirts to Opal and June and this decision absolutely snowballed into something I couldn’t have even started to comprehend when I first discovered that a normal person could even, like, design tee shirts without being part of a company. Like, at the time, I’d been a very busy professional photographer for eleven years. I had three kids. I’d dealt with multiple depressive episodes in my life, not just my first postpartum ones. I knew my stuff when it came to photography and running a photography business and balancing that with motherhood but, when it came to creating shirt designs, I knew literally nothing, Like, why would I? Y’know?

That means this! When I started designing shirts, I didn’t know what I was doing.

I had a clear vision of who I was as a photographic artist but knew nothing about designing shirts so the process was slow and I was pretty embarrassed about my designs but I knew I had to keep making them to be able to make stuff I was proud of later on. A year and a half later, I can whip up a ton of shirt designs in an hour. My favorite thing is to get really tired – like, too tired to edit or write anything – and just make absolutely ridiculous tee shirts with funny, totally over the top text and like rainbows and glitter. Like, last night I made a shirt with a bear on it with the text “Can’t Wait To Hibernate” and it’s ridiculous but also really freaking cute. The shirts are so extra and so fun but, the better I got at designing them – and I’m not the best! – the more my style came through. If someone didn’t like my tee shirts when I started making them, I would have 10000% understood because they weren’t super great yet. They were okay but they didn’t have a clear vision.

Today, though, my shirt designs are much more cohesive and fall more under my photography aesthetic. My photographs are colorful. My shirts? They’re colorful and a little cheeky. My photography is my heart. My shirt designs are more like a creative little art project I like to do here and there. And because it’s more like a little art project? I don’t feel emotionally impacted by whether or not someone likes my shirts. Like, of course not everyone will like them. They’re super extra and funny! And the topics are pretty narrow: history and books and photography and funny animals. If a minimalist who loves computer programming came across my shirts, there’s no reason for them to like them. It’s not their vibe.

With my shirts, this makes sense to me because my shirts are not my heart. I love making them and often adore the end product but, at the end of the day, I’m not crazy passionate about shirt designing. I’m passionate about photographs. And because I’m extra passionate about my photography? Of course I want everyone to think it’s amazing! If someone doesn’t like one of my shirts, they don’t like one of my shirts. If they don’t like my photos, it feels like they don’t like me.

bride and groom kiss in headlights, colorful and whimsical wedding photography by Lissa Chandler

Realizing This Was A Huge Gamer Changer For Me!

I’ve always been comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like my photography but, when I got into shirt designing, all of this was just, like, heightened for me. When we’re super passionate about something – as so many photographers are! – it feels like a personal rejection when someone doesn’t like our photos. It’s not, though. It’s often just a vibe or aesthetic that doesn’t match what they are looking to create.

Even better? That vibe is so perfect for someone else!

Not everyone loves funny cat shirts with rainbows. But cat moms who love rainbows and funny graphic tees? They live for them! Not everyone will like your style of photography. That’s okay! The more fleshed out your style becomes – whether it’s dark and moody, vintage inspired, or light and airy – the more you’ll draw in clients that will love your work. So, what if nobody likes your photographs? As long as YOU love your photographs, you’ll attract people who love your photographs, too. As individuals and artists, it can be easy to feel like we are one of a kind. And we are! But not so much that our interests in and aesthetics don’t align with everything else.

A couple more thoughts on this! Trends change. Photography changes. People wanting to capture their loved ones? It doesn’t really change. So! Create photographs that make you happy. If you’re constantly shooting in home sessions but you’d rather shoot outdoors, you’re not going to get out of the house and into a golden hour field without taking yourself there. If you style your clients but would rather they dress themselves, you can make that change! Your work does not have to stay stagnant. You can mix it up! And if you create killer photographs that someone doesn’t like? That’s okay!

We All Have Off Days

If you stick with photography for years, you’re going to have a client who doesn’t love their photographs.

Learn from this! Sometimes the disappointment has nothing to do with you but, even if it doesn’t, you can absolutely learn something from a time when someone didn’t love their photographs. Your work is unique to you. Your photographs are personal to you. It’s not always seen as personal to everyone else, even if it’s someone who has hired you. And sometimes? You’re going to just have an off day. Maybe your work isn’t the best that day, maybe you’re coming down with a cold, or maybe your camera decided to lag. Anyone can have an off day, no matter how long you’ve been shooting.

To deal with off days, just know what you can create at your base level and make that what you say you deliver. If you know you can deliver 100 photos on a stellar family session and 50 on an off day, make the package with 50 images, not 100. Do you always feel off when shooting on cloudy days? Don’t shoot on cloudy days! Make it a part of your booking process that you only shoot on sunny days. Your work is your work and your business is your business. Embrace that to create the work you love!

So! I’ll Ask Again: What If No One Likes Your Photos?

It’s okay. You just need to like your photos.

Everything will fall into place after that!

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Based in Fayetteville, Arkansas Lissa Chandler is a portrait and wedding photographer. Lissa is also the owner of Opal and June where she offers mockup photographs, bookish + history merch, and the dreamiest photoshoot dress rentals. Additionally, Lissa is the host of the podcast Your Photographer Mom. As a creative photographer in Northwest Arkansas, Lissa doesn’t niche down on a genre. She niches on a feeling instead! That feeling? The huge, happy feeling of hope and excitement that you feel as a kid opening up a huge box of 120 crayons. Sound like a feeling you remember? Let’s shoot!

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